Happy New Moon – August 28th 2022
Garden Boundaries
Boundaries in the garden can be as simple as a fence or the edges of a raised bed. They keep plants from being trampled or run over by children and pets. Clear boundaries offer safety and protection. But not all boundaries are visible. Companion plants, for example, create an invisible circle of protection around other plants. They give off scents that keep insects away. One great example of this are French marigolds that repel nematodes and squash bugs.
Protective garden fabric is another kind of boundary. Throughout the gardening season in Denver I use hail cloth, shade cloth, and frost cloth at various times. All these fabrics provide shelter in different ways – creating an obvious boundary to ward off either cold, hail, or too much sun. And last year I began using a different sort of fabric – organdy gift bags over my grapes and blueberries.
Ripening grapes and blueberries seem to be a favorite food for Japanese beetles and grasshoppers. The bags let in air and sunshine, but prevent the marauding insects from touching the fruit. I have three different colors of gift bags and they add a whimsical touch to the garden. Observing them from my patio has led me quite naturally to think about personal boundaries this week.
Personal Boundaries
Although wrapping ourselves in organdy won’t protect us the way it does the grapes, we can take a cue from this strategy when thinking about our interactions with others. The gift bags are porous to let in light and air. Likewise, our boundaries can be porous so we can let in the good and limit the not so good. And they look lovely in the garden, reminding us that setting a boundary can be a positive experience.
Thinking about the variety of other fabric I use in the garden, it varies with the season and the type of protection needed. Similarly, our boundaries can shift and change depending on the need and the setting. It is not a “one size fits all” scenario.
Setting Boundaries is an Intentional Practice
In the work I do as a coach and trainer I often hear people say, “I just don’t have good boundaries.” However, the ability to set limits is not a personality trait – it’s not something one has or doesn’t have. It’s a skill that can be practiced and learned. Creating personal boundaries is an intentional practice.
It begins by simply paying attention. Feeling depleted by others is a good time to step back and review why this might be happening. It doesn’t mean we have to act on it immediately, but we can be aware of the people and situations that routinely drain our energy. Identify some action steps to take and start small.
Boundaries don’t happen by themselves. Garden boundaries require some action. Whether that is putting fabric over plants or planting marigolds that keeps pests away, there is an action step. Similarly, our work in setting personal boundaries is figuring out and applying those action steps. Know that changing your boundaries with others might feel uncomfortable and might get some push-back. Family, friends, and co-workers might be surprised by new limits. That’s okay. Just imagine yourself wrapped in organdy – beautiful, assertive, and having the right to determine your limits.
Lunar Blog Post Series
This article is part of my lunar blog series. New moon posts focus generally on garden and mindfulness related topics. Full moon posts focus on one of the plant featured in my book, Growing Mindful, Explorations in the Garden to Deepen Your Awareness. For more details on the lunar blog post series and to see past posts click here.
