The word surrender often has negative connotations. We have lost; we are quitting or admitting defeat. And yet there are countless times surrender can be the healthy choice. In the garden, I have had to surrender to the fact that plants I grew successfully in Pennsylvania are stressed by the Colorado environment.
My best garden example is the Brandywine tomato, an heirloom variety that was my favorite in Pennsylvania. It’s large, juicy, and flavorful. I tried for three years to grow it in Denver. But the tomatoes were always misshapen, cracked, and not very tasty. Brandywines need a steady water supply and that is impossible to maintain in my yard. Maybe I could have tried harder to ensure the environment they needed, however sometimes it is healthier to just wave the white flag and move on. I now focus on smaller heirlooms like Cherokee Purple or Yellow Pear tomatoes. You might think that giving up Brandywines is not a good example of surrendering, but then I’d have to say you don’t understand how much I loved Brandywines.
And apart from the garden, I had a realization this week about surrendering to the other unsolvable things in our lives. It was inspired by an NPR interview with Michael Scott Moore who was held captive by Somali pirates for 2 ½ years. Moore says the concept of hope was not helpful to him. Even though it is often promoted as the key ingredient for getting through difficulties, it didn’t work that way for him. Any hope he had of being released was constantly dashed. He found it easier to let go of hope and concentrate on the task at hand – getting through the day.
Some situations are unsolvable by us. It might be pirates deciding one’s fate, loved ones who have died, or difficult work situations. Some things we have no control over. We know intellectually we can’t solve them and yet we spend lots of energy pondering why things are the way they are or why a certain person acts the way they do. It can be healthier to surrender to the fact that this is our current reality. Some things simply ARE. They might change in the future… or not. But this is what they are right now.
It is a huge relief to just let go of trying to figure it all out. There can be peace in surrendering to what is.
This week’s mindfulness focus word is surrender…contemplating the things in our lives that are beyond our control and at least for a little while, letting go.
For more information on weekly mindfulness focus words click here.
Michael Scott Moore’s book is The Desert and The Sea: 977 Days Captive on the Somali Pirate Coast.
